Living Will

IT DOESN'T MATTER YOUR AGE, WE ALL NEED A LIVING WILL.

I think this is the best living will form that I've seen, it's easy to understand, and it makes perfect sense, as well.

I, Dennis Chapman, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
___X__ Beer
______ Margarita
______ Wine
______ Martini
______ Vodka and Tonic
___X__ Steak
______ Lobster
______ The remote control
______ Chocolate
___X__ Sex
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Signed:__________________________________